Goodbye Sunrise
by MirandNack
Summary: "Luffy lifted his trembling hand and cupped her cheek in it. His hand looked huge and tanned and dirty against her skin, like it belonged there simply because it didn't." After a turn of events, Luffy realizes his love for Nami. But is it too late?


Mikan = tangerine.

If you haven't watched Enies Lobby there is a small spoiler.

* * *

Sweat plastered Luffy's hair to his face, but he didn't notice. All of his attention was on the girl he was straddling, hovering inches above her body. He pulled her to himself in a crushing embrace. "Nami, Nami, Nami." Her name was a whispered prayer pressed against her ear, his lips brushing the velvety cartilage. "Nami, Nami." A gentle plea.

Peeling himself from her, he looked down at her, focusing on Nami's lustrous orange locks splayed around her face like a silky halo. Running a hand tentatively through her hair, Luffy realized for the first time how much he loved it, and the sensation of the strands tickling his fingers was fascinating. Why hadn't he ever done it before?

When his fingers reached the tips of her hair he turned his attention to her face, but not as a whole. He couldn't handle that. He focused on all the other little details he'd been so stupid to never notice before. Her tiny, upturned nose that sloped into a graceful brow. How many times had that brow scowled at him? Now it was relaxed, not a crease to be seen. His eyes trailed down to her cheeks, flushed and unmarked.

Luffy lifted his trembling hand and cupped her cheek in it. His hand looked huge and tanned and dirty against her skin, like it belonged there simply because it didn't. The way sweet and salty went together. He sucked a breath through his teeth and brushed a thumb lightly over her sweet, sweet cheek. Damn. Nothing in the world was that soft, he was sure of it.

"Oh Nami," he moan slightly. "Nami, Nami…"

He dipped his head and pressed his lips firmly where his thumb had been, holding his position. He could smell her. Salt and sea, mikan and soap. It was making his stomach churn with a feeling he wasn't sure he liked. He like the scent though. Actually, he _loved_ it. Tears pricked his eyes and he lifted his face away from her, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth to taste, but all he could taste was his own salty sweat.

"Dammit, Nami," he gasped, tears falling. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

He clenched his eyes closed and pulled her to him, feeling every curve of her body against his, relishing the contact. He knew she'd probably get mad that his tears were soaking into her shirt, but he couldn't stop them. He raised a hand to cradle her head to his chest, planting a kiss to the top of her head then stooping to nuzzle her neck where her touch and smell over whelmed him. If he never had to move from that position that'd be okay with him.

He wanted to see her face, though. All of it. Gently pulling her away from him, he looked into the face of his navigator. Her lips were slightly parted, smooth and pouty as always, but her eyes were half closed, staring blankly over Luffy's shoulder.

"Look at me," Luffy whispered. "Nami, look at me." Her eyes remained unfocused.

"Please, Nami," he begged, his tears blearing his version so that the woman in front of him was little more than a blur of color. He gave her shake. "I'm your captain, look at me… please?" he whimpered. But even as he spoke, the sound of the battle was all around, crashes and explosions, clashing swords and screams.

"Nami," he growled, "Look at me, dammit!" He shook her again, feeling sick as her head lolled helplessly to the side. "Nami!" he shouted, "Stop it! Look at me. Why won't you just look?"

"Luffy."

Luffy stopped his strangled yelling and looked up, Nami limp in his hands. Tears blinded him, and he was trembling so hard that he thought he might be sick.

"Put her down, Luffy."

An animalistic urge made him pull Nami to his chest protectively. "No."

"Luffy, there's a battle –"

"Dammit, Zoro! I said no!" Luffy snarled, clutching Nami tighter. He bent his head and rested his cheek to her head, squeezing his eyes tight against the tears. How did it hurt so badly? Did she do this to him?

Zoro sheathed his katana. "She's dead. Shit… Luffy she's gone," he said, voice weak.

Luffy shook his head against Nami's orange crown. "No." But Nami was cold. She was still. Her eyes wouldn't find him.

"Retreat," Luffy whispered.

"Huh?" Sanji asked, distracted from his opponent and noticing Nami for the first time.

"Retreat!" Luffy bellowed, his voice cracking. Then he stood with his dead navigator in his arms, the weight he was feeling much too heavy to be from her body.

"Zoro…" Luffy whispered, his head bowed as he trained his eyes on Nami's expressionless face. "Can I die too?"

Zoro began walking back to the ship. "Not yet."

Luffy followed without another word, pressing comforting kisses to Nami's cheeks, chin, eyelids, nose, and forehead. He didn't want her to be alone in her death.

"I'm sorry I failed you."

* * *

On the ship, the crew all went their separate ways to mourn in their own private ways. Usopp could be heard screaming himself hoarse to the heavens, while Sanji's silhouette showed silent but shuddering shoulders through the kitchen window. Someone was breaking every piece of furniture they could find. It was a heavy night.

Luffy lay Nami on the deck and lay next to her, wrapping her in his arms because she felt cold. He knew they had to bury her at sea by morning. He wondered if he could be her anchor. Could he tie himself to her and toss them both over board? Then she wouldn't have to be alone, and he wouldn't have to go on without her.

* * *

The next morning, the whole crew was gathered on the deck before the sun rose. They had gathered without a word, all of them with bags under their eyes and deep frowns upon their lips. Luffy was standing with Nami in his arms. He had put her favorite jewelry on her, tied a mikan branch in her hair, and stuck a couple of beri coins in her pockets.

He walked to the railing of the ship, the others shuffling behind him. The sun was starting to rise, inking the sky as orange as Nami's hair. Luffy stared at the sun, rubbing a small circle along her bicep as he waited for the other's to say their farewells. After the sun had risen enough to outshine its early colors, Zoro said quietly, "You really are the best navigator."

"You're the most powerful, respectable woman I've ever met," Sanji said, hiding the quaver in his voice by taking a drag.

"You're a friend like no other," Usopp choked out through tears, accepting Chopper's hug.

"We need you, nee-chan," Franky sniffed.

"Nami!" Chopper wailed, still clutching Usopp.

"You will be missed so very much," Robin whispered.

They were silent for a moment then Luffy stepped closer to the railing and said gently, "I love you, Nami. I always have. You won't be alone for long, I promise." He placed his hat on her head and tightened the string so it wouldn't fall off. Shanks would understand.

Then, feeling as if he would topple in after her, as if he was tossing one of his own limbs, he dropped her to the ocean below. Crumbling to the deck in a weak heap, he watched as the murk soon covered her.

"Watch after her, Merry."

The crew never watched another sunrise.

* * *

**A/N: **Whoa. Thanks for reading! I'd really appreciate it if you left a review, it helps writers know what to improve, what to continue with, if they got their point across, etc.

This was the product of wanting to write smut but remembering that I promised never to write smut + procrastinating with my other fic + feeling down. So, I hope you liked it.


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